Funny Fish

New York Times columnist Clyde Haberman is one of the keener observers of our times. His column is mostly very funny, truly informative and not to be missed. Today he wrote a wonderful satire about how the presidential candidates are reacting to the discovery of high mercury level in tuna sushi sold in New York restaurants.

Haberman creates stump speeches for all of the remaining candidates running for president. Excerpts:

Evangelical Mike Huckabee: “Nowhere does the Bible mention sushi in the Garden of Eden,” he said. “Give me that old-time cuisine. If it was good enough for Adam and Eve, it’s good enough for me.”

Hillary Clinton: “Experience counts, and I’ve been eating sushi almost since that transforming day when I heard Martin Luther King speak in person.”

My favorite, of course, is Rudy Giuliani‘s: “This is a very, very serious problem,” he said, “and I don’t want to minimize how very, very important it is. But trust me, Sept. 11 was a lot worse.”